I want to get to know you, but I don't know how to.

I go to an all girls school, I don't know how to act around guys.
I am naturally an awkward person, even with my closest friends I'm always awkward, can you imagine how even more awkward I was when I tried to start talking to him...

Our formal was this Friday, my dad asked if any of my friends were taking any guys, and how I didn't. And he talked about how he was like me. In High School he was probably the only guy in his group of friends who didn't have a girlfriend. But I told him that after he was patient, he found my mum, and she has to be the prettiest and the nicest person ever!
I guess from that I learnt that you have to be patient, sometimes. Good things come when you wait.

My brother's getting married at the end of this year, I'm pretty much left lonely in the family. My dad and the stepmum, my brother and his new wife. My dad said that I should find someone, but I go to an all girls school I don't even know any guys! Even moreso, I don't know how to act around them!

And a few years ago, my cousin and I were describing our "dream guys", our "Mr. Right", I described it to her and she said: "You'd have to search all over the world to find that guy!" I guess because my description was very specific and yeah it is probably really hard to find such a person/unrealistic.
BUT, only a few months after, I found him. I didn't know at first, but I don't know what, a few days later something struck me. He fitted most of my description perfectly. There are some things that I still don't know about him though... so I don't know if he is exactly 100% of my definition of perfect.

I always think to myself, what is love, love sucks, I don't know how to love, I don't need to love. But just with being left lonely in my family, and just hearing my friends talk about how they're so much happier, etc. I kinda WANT to be in love.
That guy has probably forgotten me, but whatever. I just want someone who you can turn to when you're feeling down and he'll always be there for you. It shouldn't matter if I'm an awkward person and sometimes what I say doesn't make sense, he should understand me.

Idk, idk. ~Love~ is a really weird thing I don't understand, but I want to learn about what it is. I want to understand ~love~.