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Remember how a few days back I said, I wanted to leave home as soon as I can.
Well, I had a second thought.
A few weeks ago I went to visit my cousin, who had previously been living in Indonesia with her parents. I cannot say she wasn't spoiled. Anything she wanted, she received.
Just last year, she moved here to study, but just recently, she moved in an apartment with a housemate.
I went and visited that place. I must say, it has the facilities of a hotel, and it looks awfully expensive to rent that place. But it has no homey feeling about it, you know. The kind of emotion or feeling you get when you get home. You might think, well it's not my home, hence I wouldn't get that feeling, but even if I go to someone's house, I sometimes would get that feeling.
Just not this time. It was a tiny confined space. Only the essential things are there, no luxury.
Then I thought, this isn't the kind of life I want when I move out. So, why was I thinking of moving out in the first place?
I love my home. It's just that I don't feel comfortable here anymore, ever since my stepmum moved in. Life has been very different.
Ugh. Different unpleasant smells, unpleasant sounds, and unpleasant surroundings. I have to be careful where I place my belongings, because she might take it, or might throw it away, etc. I don't feel comfortable living in my own house!
I want the past to come back.
I want my childhood to come back.
Will that ever happen?
I do not know.
My memories are erased.
Why can't we turn back time.
Time scares me.
I want my home back.
Home, with all five members of my family present.
My father, my mother, and my two brothers. Reunited again, and living happily together again, eternally. :)