From all the things I wasn't able to do, all things people looked down on me upon, not believing I would be able to, mocking me, I had always said, one day, I'm going to prove it to them that I can achieve my dream.

In life, there are competitors. The human race have a natural instinct to be competitive. Everyone wants to be the best. Always. But some are luckier than others. Some are born into a wealthy, healthy and happy family. Those are the real lucky ones.

Some are born into a poor, unhealthy and miserable family. But those people who manage to succeed, are looked up to so fondly.

Some are poor, but they are smart, hence they have a bright future.

Some are rich, but are also smart, they have an even brighter future.

Some are rich, but not so smart, but they can afford to exercise their brains and get tutorings to increase their knowledge and become smart/smarter.

Some are poor, and not smart. What is their life going to be?

The rich people say, this world cannot be equal because then it would be boring. They only say that because they have never experienced a suffering, how hard it is to live in harsh conditions. They have enjoyed life so much in their luxurious way of life that they do not even care how other people feel.

This is life.

It is unfair. But what can one do?

I am unpopular, have many problems, no real friends, no one to talk to, sad, and I can go on and on about all the negativities in my life. I am not exactly smart, I am a bit slow, lazy, always can't be bothered studying or doing homework, and some used to say that I am rude. (mostly my dad's side of the family)

But I am understanding. I don't even know why I am so understanding, I'm hurting myself. I see other people talking bad things, lying, cursing about other people, or shouting at other people, angrily, leaving the other in shock and sadness. But why, must I become so empathetic these days.

I used to always argue with people, I was strong. But then, I think it was the day when I saw my dad cry, because I had argued with him. I still felt that I was still right, but I did not want to see him cry. I think it had something to do with my mother and him wanting to remarry or something. But I felt bad seeing him cry, you know. I mean, I had hurt him, I had made him cry.

I think it was from then on, that I always felt bad for everything I say. Always worrying, what if I hurt that person's feelings. I became too afraid to make an impact on others. Even to bad people, such as criminals I've read or heard about in the news, when they get punished, I always say, "they deserve it!" but then not long after that, I would say, "actually I think they deserve a second chance," or something like that. I've become to soft and weak. I let others trample over me. And I always wear a mask, hiding who I really am inside. I've even forgotten who I am. I've forgotten how I look like. How I used to feel.

I used to say to myself, "keep on believing. Prove to those who had made fun of you, said bad things about you, won't believe in you, wrong. Go on, get that dream, get into Harvard Law School. Become a top barrister."