I just don't understand people.
We are all one and the same, we are all the same species.
Animals might kill one another to fight for territory or whatever, but we humans aren't allowed to kill.. but there is still that hate.
Hate between races, hate between gender, hate between families, everything.
The human nature of looking down upon those who are different, those who are poorer, envy, revenge, anger, unforgiving, grudging, etc.

My only uncle, my aunties' only younger brother is sick. He has a tumor on one of his liver. I haven't known him for long. The last time I met him was 3 years ago, but it felt like I've known him for ages. He's one of my favourite siblings of my dad.
He remarried with a native Indonesian, and now has 3 really young kids, I think the oldest is 12, and the youngest is 3 and a half. I just went to visit them and after that my dad said to me, "Look at your uncle, his children are still so young, feel sorry for them. The youngest doesn't understand anything yet."
I know. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I was 5 years old, and I didn't understand anything either. When I was a bit older I remember getting a pamphlet that said, "My mummy has cancer." I don't know, I felt... special. None of my friends' mums have cancer. Little did I know that it meant my mum was hurting a lot and that soon she was to die.
But my mum still went for treatment, to Singapore, to Australia, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, etc. We could afford it.
My uncle however has just enough money to eat, and to survive. Siblings, being family, having the same blood should care about one another right, of course they would help their brother when he's in need of money. Even one of my aunts who's not wealthy either still contributed a lot, because she cares about his brother, and wants him to get better no matter the cost.
Money can't guarantee health, but anything is worth a try right. You never know unless you try. There is no cost for the human life.
Yet, two of my aunts would still not speak to my uncle. One of them has donated a small amount, together with his first wife, but the other, probably the richest of the siblings has not. They don't get along well with my uncle, because he remarried, with a native Indonesian.
Those two are obviously racist. My family is of Chinese heritage, and yeah, growing up, we're taught to stay away from them, because they treat us differently and there was one year where the Chinese are attacked and so I guess we don't feel safe around them either. But does it matter now your own brother is sick.

When my grandfather, their father, was gravely ill, they also refused to see him. Because he too remarried with a native Indonesian.
I just don't understand how they could be like that, they are from his blood, and he had worked hard to raise them, put them into school, university. They have become who they are because of him. Yet, there then grows this hatred because he remarried someone who is not of the same coloured skin.

My dad remarried. I HATE his new wife. Not because she is of different coloured skin, however, she's Chinese. She's just really dumb and ugly, and I have never wanted a stepmum, it doesn't matter if we are of the same race, it doesn't matter who my dad marries, I will never like his new wife.
But I still love my dad very much.

I just don't understand...life.

meh

When people tell me things to help make me feel better, I appreciate it, and I would say, "Thanks."

But then they say, "That's alright. I've gone through a lot myself so I know."

I feel like asking them "what have you gone through exactly? More than I have?

Because I have gone through a lot.

Life's sufferings isn't a competition, I'm not being competitive, but honestly, it hurts to see them say they've suffered a lot, compared to what I have suffered? A lot?

And they say that I am strong, because of what I've experienced. But I'm not. I still weep and cry. I'm not strong enough to just get up and shake things off straight away.

what makes me happy

• flowers
• starry night
• star gazing
• climbing trees and enjoying the view
• internet
• strawberries
• music
• singing
• rafael nadal
• arsenal
• robin van persie
• how rafael nadal is an arsenal fan
• arshavin's expressions
• arshavin
• freddie ljungberg
• bernard tomic
• would i lie to you
• david mitchell
• rob brydon
• jimmy carr
• qi
• alan davies
• jimmy carr
• daffodils
• tulips
• hydrangeas
• roses
• hyacinths
• rainbow lorikeets
• rosellas
• 22 degrees c weather- not too hot not too cold
• summer nights
• how ian poulter is an arsenal fan
• scarborough fair by simon & garfunkel
• mumford and sons
• two door cinema club
• novi my cat
• sheldon from big bang theory
• how i met your mother
• friends the show
• rainbows
• sound of rain gently dripping down my window
• m&ms
• pretty pictures
• tamarillos
• being together with my brother and father